Victorian Etiquette; Jul 13, 2009 13:24:17 GMT -5
Post by Admin on Jul 13, 2009 13:24:17 GMT -5
The following are a few areas of Victorian etiquette, or to put it simply, manners. If you would like to touch upon other areas, such as mourning, follow the link below to the reference site:
The Basic Rules of Etiquette;-
Learn to govern yourself and to be gentle and patient.
Never speak or act in anger.
Remember that, valuable as is the gift of speech, silence is often more valuable.
Learn to speak in a gentle tone of voice.
Learn to say kind and pleasant things when opportunity offers.
Do not neglect little things if they can affect the comfort of others.
Learn to deny yourself and prefer others.
Beware of meddlers and tale bearers.
Teas and Receptions;-
The day and hour of an afternoon tea may be written on a visiting card. For an afternoon reception, an "At Home" card is used.
Only simple refreshment should be served at an afternoon tea. Thin slices of bread and butter, sandwiches, fancy biscuits or cake, tea, coffee, or chocolate, ice-cream and bouillon. Punch and lemonade may also be served, but no wine or alcoholic drinks.
The hostess should shake hands with her guests and receive them cordially; any formality is out of place on an informal occasion.
If the number of guests is small, the hostess should walk about the room, talking with her visitors. If large guest list, she should remain near the door and have the aid of other ladies who should help entertain the guests, ask them to take refreshments and make introductions when necessary.
At a large an elegant afternoon reception, windows may be darkened, lighted by gas lights and musicians employed.
Etiquette on the Street;-
Courtesy requires the return of all civil greetings--those of servants included. Only the most serious causes can justify "a cut".
In bowing, the head should be best; a mere lowering of the eyelids, affected by some people, is rude; but etiquette does not permit a familiar nod, except between business men, or very intimate friends. In passing and repassing on a public promenade or drive, bows are exchanged only at the first meeting.
In carrying canes, umbrellas, and packages, care should be taken that they do not inconvenience others.
In meeting on a street crossing, gentlemen should make way for ladies, and younger persons for older ones.
Ladies and gentlemen, when meeting on the sidewalk, should always pass to the right.
In the evening or whenever safety may require, a gentleman should give a lady his arm.
A gentleman may take two ladies upon his arms, but under no circumstances should the lady take the arms of two gentlemen.
A gentleman will assist a lady over from an omnibus or carriage, without waiting for the formality of an introduction.
No gentleman will smoke when walking with or standing in the presence of a lady standing in the street.
No gentleman should stand on the street corners, steps of hotels, or other public places and make remarks about ladies passing by.
A true lady will go quietly and unobtrusively about her business when on the street, never seeking to attract the attention of the opposite sex, at the same time recognizing acquaintances with a courteous bow, and friends with pleasant words of greeting.
Breaches of Etiquette;-
To remove one's gloves when making a formal call.
To stare around the room.
For a caller who is waiting the entrance of the hostess to open the piano or touch it if it is open.
To go to the room of an invalid unless invited.
To look at your watch when calling.
To walk around the room when waiting for the hostess.
To open or shut a door, raise or lower a window curtain, or in any other way alter the arrangement of a room when visiting.
Turn your chair so that you back faces another guest.
To play with any ornament in the room or to seem to be aware of anything but the company present while visiting.
To remain when you find the host or hostess dressed to go out.
To make remarks about another caller who has just left the room.